Contemplation

Contemplation



It's storming outside. I guess the weather fits my mood perfectly. I can't believe that I'm doing this, running away in the middle of the night. Will they miss me? I doubt it. Well, Cynthia might, once in awhile, anyway.

Things had been so great when mom and dad were still together. I had been happy, and it was a joy to get out of bed in the morning. But, then came April 27th. The day that my father left. He didn't give an explanation, just a letter saying that he was sorry. Sorry? What kind of person says he's sorry after walking out on a 15 year marriage that had resulted in two children? My mother was blind sided. She had never seen it coming.

For so long, she wouldn't get out of bed. She wouldn't eat, she'd barely sleep. She spent most of her time looking through her wedding album, wondering what she had done to drive my father away. Of course, she hadn't done anything. My father was just a jerk. Eventually, Cynthia and I managed to convince her of that. She got back out into the world, got a great job with Nortel, and even began dating again.

Now, don't get me wrong. I was OK with the whole dating thing. Dating is a far cry from marriage. But, when my mom brouht him home, I quickly changed my tune. This guy brought out the worst in me. He emotionally abused my sister and I, and I think he even slapped my mother a few times.

Why was she still with him? Why did she let him move in?

Maybe that's what 'temporary insanity' is. It's not breaking into someone's home to do their laundry, it's letting the man who is abusing your family move in so he can abuse you more.

Well, that brings us to the present, where I'm standing on the front stoop of our building, contemplating my next move. My bag is packed, and I'm ready to leave, but... do I want to? Should I really leave mom and Cynthia alone with that monster? I know I can't go back inside that apartment. I'd sooner sleep in a Dumpster, but is leaving in the middle of the night the answer? I was so sure earlier tonight, but now, I'm not. Thinking back to the time when I actually had a family has brought out my protective streak. I can't let them face him alone.

So... what to do? A call to the police would do nothing. Mom would just deny it all anyway, completely embarassed that everyone knew 'her business'. The jerk would probably take his frustrations out on mom. I can't let that happen.

What does a 14 year old girl do? Running away isn't the answer, but it's all I can do. I hope that one day my mother can forgive me for running away and leaving her and Cynthia alone. Something has to be done, and it won't get done as long as I'm still in that house. Maybe I can find someone to listen to me. It's worth a shot.

Without any more contemplation, I run off into the night and I don't look back.


The End